The Last Winter (The Circle War Book 2) Read online

  Heat rushed to his face. His head still felt too heavy for his shoulders, but he stood up anyway. The brothers formed a wall, standing shoulder to shoulder, looking eager to finish what they’d started. Bear wiped the back of his hand across his cheek to clear the blood. He knew the wound had healed and he wanted them to see it. He spit at their feet.

  Well done, Paralos’s voice spoke in his head. There was no shortage of pride in it. A hint of a smile crossed the old man’s face.

  The knot of guilt that formed in Bear’s stomach hit him as hard as anything he’d felt during the fight. His eyes drifted to the fallen Horseman. The man could barely lift his arm.

  This isn’t me. This isn’t who I am. “I’m sorry,” he said, unwilling to make eye contact with the brothers again. He grabbed his shirt off the ground and shoved past the Orphii on his way out of the cave.

  “Let him go,” Paralos said behind him. “Bring your brother to me. I will mend his wound.”

  The open air helped to calm Bear some, if only a little. He plodded through waist-high grass toward a lake he’d seen in the distance earlier. A carpet of hazy stars lit his way while his eyes adjusted to the darkness.

  He put on his shirt to fight the chilly breeze coming off the water. Finally clear of the grass, the rocky dirt crunched beneath his feet as he settled down on the shoreline. He took a steadying breath, content to listen to the water slipping back and forth with the tide. His fingers brushed against the metal plating covering his legs. He felt like a con artist wearing the armor. Putting on a doctor’s coat didn’t make him a doctor, and wearing a suit of armor didn’t make him a champion. He picked at the dried blood on his hands. It was times like these when August would say something ridiculous to take his mind off of what he knew Bear was thinking:

  I shouldn’t be here.

  When the wind died down, the water settled into a mirror of the stars above, making it seem like he was back in space again, floating above Galan’s planet. He wondered what his father would think of his adventures—visiting alien worlds, riding on asteroids.

  Falling for a goddess.

  The thought slipped out before he could stop himself from thinking it. Foolishness, that’s all it was. He barely knew her, not to mention the fact that she was a god, or at least as close to it as they come. He had no more business falling for her than he did trying to fight in a war.

  Besides, she was gone, and he was…

  Lost.

  He wondered if Paralos had read his mind, or if the Horsemen could sense what he was feeling when they stepped through the portal. As soon as he’d set foot on the lush world, something felt off, like he wasn’t where he was supposed to be. It didn’t take long to figure out the problem. August was the one who wanted to lead them, who had the ability to do it. From the moment they’d been forced into partnership, Bear had been happy to stay one step behind, ready to bring out Shadow if August was threatened, but beyond that? What other purpose did he have?

  A wave rushed up against his foot. The water was thick and ran off his feet like oil. He picked up a stone from the beach and dried it on his shirt. The surface was smooth and black with ribbons of white running through it. He turned it over in his palm. It reminded him of some of the stones back in the creeks he and his father used to go fishing in. The same creek where he’d found him, laid bare to the elements, where the monster had—

  He brought his clenched fists up to his face. The muscles in his chest constricted. He squeezed his fingers tight and took deep breaths of cold air until the sting of the memory was gone.

  When it was over and his tears had dried, he opened his hand and looked at the rock. It had crumbled into dust.

  All this strength…

  The wind nibbled at the rock’s remains, stealing it into the air.

  “Hello, John.”

  He jumped to his feet, nearly stumbling back into the water when he heard Meryn’s voice. A feeling of sadness came with the shock of seeing her. His eyes were playing tricks on him. She couldn’t be real.

  “You,” he said.

  He stopped at the utterance of the word, afraid that anything more might drive away her ghost. Meryn’s glow lit the ground around her feet. She seemed different than when he’d seen her last—as regal as a queen in her flowing robes. Everything about her shimmered. She looked like a fallen star.

  “How have you been?” she asked.

  “Fine.” Her eyes tried to coax more out of him but he didn’t know what to say. It had been so long.

  “I hope I am not interrupting.”

  “No. Just came out here to think, is all.”

  “I see.” She walked to the edge of the water to stand beside him. She surprised him by sitting down on the rocks. Her blue eyes, still as unnaturally bright as he remembered, looked out over the lake.

  She didn’t seem in a hurry to speak. Not knowing what else to do, he took a seat beside her.

  “You look well,” she said, still staring at the water.

  “Little different, I suppose.”

  “You cut your hair.”

  He pawed at the spot where his ponytail had been. “Wouldn’t fit in the new helmet.”

  She glanced at him with a weak smile. “And how is August?”

  “About the same.”

  “Good. I’m glad.”

  For a while, she seemed content to watch the water lap at her feet. Bear couldn’t match her silence.

  “It’s hard to believe you’re here,” he said.

  “I imagine so.”

  “What happened to you?”

  She didn’t answer right away. “I was scared when I left Earth. I didn’t know where I was going, or where I could go. Amara and her allies control so much of this universe. Still, there are galaxies beyond counting and worlds even The Circle doesn’t know exist. I found one of these systems and stayed for a while, until Anemolie came searching. I only had moments to act before she arrived, so I ran to one of my dead systems, hoping no one would think to look for me there. I hid myself in the remnants of its star.”

  “You were there the whole time?”

  “Yes.”

  He wondered if he should ask the question he’d wanted to ask ever since she left. Figuring she would see it in his head no matter what, he said it quickly before he lost his nerve. “You never contacted me,” he said. “Us, I mean.”

  Meryn turned her head to face him. “I know,” she replied. “And I am sorry. I wanted to, but I didn’t dare.”

  “Because of Amara.”

  “Amara, Anemolie… anyone, really. I sent one message to Paralos so he could find me eventually, but beyond that it was too dangerous to attempt contact.”

  He tried to picture her waiting in the same spot for months on end, hiding in silence. “What did you think about that whole time?”

  “I thought about you. And August. Wondered how you were faring. It may seem like imprisonment, what I did, but the time by myself was something I sorely needed. I thought of many things, but mostly I thought of the day I left you.”

  “Why is that?”

  She went back to looking at the water. It was a long time before she spoke again. “I should have let Gemini’s blast hit you,” she said. “You were strong enough to survive, though August was not.”

  The words left him still. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

  “It seems horrible to you, I’m sure, but I’ve had a long time to think about what I’ve done. My actions could have incited the gods to go to war with one another, and if that happened, every living creature would have suffered. Our laws are the only thing stopping the potential destruction of our universe, and I carelessly discarded them because I was selfish. I didn’t want to lose either one of you. It didn’t seem fair. It was only later that I realized what I’d done, what I could have caused. I was lucky that the Circle did not condemn me to death. I deserved it.”

  Bear sat silently, unsure of what to say. “You don’t mean that.”

  “I mea
n all of it.”

  “But August…”

  “Is not worth the cost of what I did. Or the potential cost. I do not say this lightly, John. In fact, it hurts to even say the words. But it is the truth, and you of all people are someone that I would never lie to.”

  “Would you say the same to August?”

  Her gaze fell to the shore. “Not in those terms, I suppose not. What I would tell him, and what I tell you now, is that I cannot do such a thing again. If Gemini were to attack, I would not step in to stop it, even if it means losing you both. I entered this war to save the lives of others, not condemn them all to death so that I alone can live.”

  He felt like he was caught in a storm with no way to get out of the rain. He stood, not wanting to leave, but feeling too anxious to remain where he was.

  “I’ve made you uncomfortable,” she said, rising. “Perhaps I should have held my tongue.”

  “No, it’s fine,” he replied. “It’s just…”

  “What?” She stepped closer to him.

  He looked at her over his shoulder. “Can’t you read my mind?”

  “I told you, I don’t like to do that to you. I don’t feel I need to. You were always easy to understand.”

  “Yeah, well for once I wish you would. I can’t seem to form the words.”

  He picked up another rock from the shore and tossed it into the water. It skipped twice before disappearing into the black, sending ripples through the reflection of stars.

  “I thought it would be different,” he blurted out, “seeing you again. I guess since you’ve been gone, I hadn’t thought so much about what you did, or why you did it. I mostly just wanted to know you were okay.”

  “I am,” she said. She smiled. “It is good to see you.”

  He matched her smile, but only briefly. He had to turn away from her eyes. He’d forgotten how electric they were. “So what do we do now?” he asked.

  “What plans does Paralos have for you?”

  “Mostly to take my licks until I learn how to fight. I think he enjoys seeing those Horsemen beat me senseless. Other than that, I don’t know. He’s not one for sharing.”

  “No, I suppose he’s not.”

  A loud gust of wind came rushing off the water. Meryn held up her hand, instantly quieting the gale. As her fingers moved, the water calmed, no longer tossed around by the winds.

  “Better,” she said. She lowered her hand and faced him. “I want you and the brothers to come with me.”

  A spark lit inside him. The thought of being at her side again was instantly comforting. “What about August?” he asked.

  “As I understand it, August is needed elsewhere for the moment. Before we rejoin him on Earth, I need you to act as my ambassador.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Ambassador?”

  “To the rest of the Circle.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “The vote on my guilt,” she said, “wasn’t only for that. In Amara’s eyes, those that have supported me have only marked themselves for sacrifice to her god. We need to bring as many of the Circle into our fold as we can. Only together can we survive.”

  “How does this involve me?” he asked, not sure whether he wanted to hear the answer.

  “I want you to visit these gods. Talk to them. Convince them to fight for our side.”

  First a fighter, now a diplomat. If she asked him to dance next, she’d have the perfect trifecta of things he was never cut out to do.

  “I don’t know,” he said. “I’ve never been the most social person. Or the most persuasive.”

  “You underestimate yourself. All you lack is the confidence to realize your potential.”

  He shook his head. “You’re just being nice.”

  “I am only telling you the truth. You are strong and honest, and the gods will appreciate your candor.”

  “Shouldn’t you be the one talking to them?”

  She stepped away. “I am still looked at as a traitor by some, even by those that may have voted to spare me. Some may have reconsidered their choice and would take the opportunity to capture me for Amara’s favor. It is safer if I send someone in my stead. You are the one I want representing me. Once they see you, any fears they have that my champions don’t possess the power necessary to win will be put to rest.”

  He crossed his arms. As much as he didn’t like the idea, what choice did he have? She was right. If she was thinking about recruiting, the other side would be too. Better if they got the lion’s share of the recruits before their enemies did. He’d have to keep the last part of what she said to himself, though. If August heard that, he’d never let it go.

  “Okay,” he said, “but I make no promises. You may wish you’d gotten August for this.”

  She looked at him with her head cocked slightly to the side.

  “What is it?”

  “You seem different,” she said. “Stronger.”

  He looked down as if he could see the added strength. “I don’t feel different.”

  “It has been some time since I’ve seen you, I suppose.” She smiled again. “You should make your preparations. You and the brothers will leave as soon as you are ready.”

  He glanced back toward the camp. “Do we have to bring them?”

  Her expression became grim. “Your task will be dangerous, John. There may be others like you sent for the same reason. If so, you will want the Horsemen by your side.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  The halls outside August’s room were a constant hum of commotion as the Vontani prepared for the Departes. He sat on the floor with his back against the sleep chamber, waiting for Dondannarin to come and tell him it was time to go. He tapped his foot nervously on the metal tiles. It’d been a long time since he’d felt so anxious before a fight.

  Come on, Dillon. You’ve only got the hopes of an entire race on your shoulders. What’s there to be nervous about?

  Finally, the door to his compartment slid open. Dondannarin stepped inside, looking like a different woman than the one who’d stood beside him on the council stage, and not just because she wore a full suit of white and gold armor. Her unbraided hair fell loosely over each shoulder. Her eyes looked like they could burn a hole through steel.

  “It is time,” she said.

  August followed her into the corridor. The hallway was a crowded maze of women coming in and out of their rooms, each wearing the same uniform gray-blue armor, and each with their hair unbound like Dondannarin. In one room, a woman knelt to speak to her children. She pressed her head to each of theirs in turn, and then shut the door to the room with them in it, alone. The woman hesitated with her hand over the release before she backed away and disappeared into the crowd. Faint voices cried out from behind the door.

  Don’t think about it. Just keep walking.

  Most of the solemir’s inhabitants had gathered around the entrance to the tunnel. They parted as soon as Dondannarin emerged, eventually falling into place behind August as they made their way up the stairs. He tried not to look at them, but he couldn’t help but notice their expressions. He had expected doubtful looks, maybe even pleading, but to a woman they were as focused and determined as Dondannarin. He felt stronger just being near them.

  They marched through the makeshift villages, their mob growing with each section passed. Dondannarin led them past the arena, where the statue of Aeris’s father raised his weapons toward a charcoal sky. August wondered where in the growing cascade of women Aeris was. He’d wanted to talk to her beforehand, but her room was heavily guarded each time he peeked out his door. If he could, he would’ve told her about his fight with Coburn, how his drive for revenge almost got him killed on Pyr, and how it might’ve cost everyone in the town of Fairview their lives back on Earth. Revenge was a hell of a weapon to bear. If she used it right, it would give her all the drive she’d need to win the war. Then again, it could blind her, and just as likely get her killed as help to kill her enemies.

  From the edges of th
e camp, solemirs began to emerge from the ground. They lagged behind the marching Vontani, forming a wall of hovering machines. This is everything they have, he mused. Seeing it all coming together—their homes, their people—it formed an image of the true stakes of the war. It was all or nothing. There was no going back now.

  When they were finally clear of the camp, ashy clouds gradually gave way to a deep indigo sky dotted with stars. He started to comment on how nice it was to see something besides thunderclouds, but then he saw the Sisters.

  C’thora, the smallest planet, appeared first, a tiny sphere in the distance with half of her face washed in white as she drifted toward a small but brilliant star. Closer to them and nearly taking up the entire left half of the sky was Garoult, its green and tan land masses surrounded by white clouds and dark blue oceans. He could see why the Vontani were drawn to it. Next to their dead world, it was an oasis.

  The two Sisters seemed poised to swallow the small star. They crept toward it, turning their shadowed backs to Vontanu as they moved into alignment.

  Dondannarin crested a small hill, and when August walked up to meet her, he saw the bulk of the Vontani army spread out on either side of them below. He guessed there were around five thousand women total, all wearing the same blue and gray body armor, with bladed chakrams on their backs. Armies wore uniforms all the time, but something about the common armor felt more unifying as he watched the Vontani. There was a sense in the air that they were there for each other. They exuded calm, or maybe it was confidence. It reminded him of the Orphii in a way—single-minded with a unified front.

  He followed Dondannarin down the slope between the rows of soldiers until they broke through to the front of the pack. She positioned them near the center of the army. On either side, all down the front line, were the matriarchs, each in a unique piece of ceremonial armor that set them apart from the others. Closest to August was Colliere. Instead of chakrams, she held a medium-length staff in her hands with chains hanging off both ends that looked to be lined with bladed disks.

  “Good luck out there,” he called out.

  Colliere glared at him.