Ascension (The Circle War Book 3) Page 22

  She grabbed him with both arms and took him in a hug. Her fingers pressed against his back. He held her just as strongly. They stood in their embrace for longer than he hoped, and yet it still felt too short when she pulled away. Her lips found his. She gave him a firm kiss before stepping back.

  “Fight hard,” she said.

  After all they’d been through, it didn’t seem like enough. “Is that all you have to say?”

  “No,” she said softly. She dropped her gaze to the ground before turning for the portal. She walked as though she was in a daze. She stopped when she got to the portal face, hesitating for a moment before passing through.

  And just like that, she was gone.

  This isn’t right. It shouldn’t be ending like this. But how else could it end? There was no good way to say goodbye to any of them.

  Maybe because I shouldn’t be saying goodbye at all.

  He forced the thought away.

  Bear and Meryn were the only ones still with him. Meryn looked even more sad than usual. Instead of waiting on her to come to him, he waded through the tall grass until he stood in front of both of them. “Funny,” he said. “After everything, we’re back to how it all began. Just the three of us.”

  Only Bear smiled. Meryn gripped his hand like she was trying to keep him from falling. “I’ll just be a minute,” he said, looking down at her.

  “All right.”

  “Come on, August. Let’s take a walk.” Bear led him away from the portal to the crest of a hill looking out over the mountains. Any other day and it would have been beautiful. Maybe even peaceful. To August, it seemed sad, like looking at a painting of a lost world.

  “I don’t normally have the words for this type of thing,” Bear said. He squinted at the morning light.

  “To be fair, you don’t usually have the words for a lot of things.”

  Bear cut his eyes to him, then smiled. “True enough.”

  A comfortable silence followed, one August knew had to end and yet he didn’t want it to. “What are we supposed to say?”

  “I wish I knew.”

  August shifted on his feet. “How are you feeling?”

  Bear took in a deep breath while he looked out over the landscape. “Different,” he said. “So much of what we’ve done felt like swimming upstream to a place we’d never get to. Now that we’re here, I’m not sure what to think.”

  “Are you scared?”

  “Yes,” Bear said.

  “I know what you mean.”

  “I’m not scared of dying,” he went on. “It’s everything else.”

  “What else is there?”

  “Failing.”

  August snorted. “I know all about that.”

  “And it’s never stopped you before, has it?”

  He considered it. “No, I guess not.”

  “One of the many things I’ve learned being around you.”

  “You poor thing.”

  “I’m serious,” Bear said. “Life was different back when I didn’t know you.”

  “Life was better. Trust me.”

  Bear shrugged. “Less dangerous, maybe. But if we hadn’t gotten wrapped up in this, I would’ve been a bystander while it went on. At least I’ve been able to do something to stop it. And then there’s you and the rest of the group. I never would’ve guessed I’d be friends with a bunch of aliens and contract killers. Spice of life, I suppose.”

  “And there’s Meryn.”

  The mention of her brought a sad smile to his face. He glanced back at her briefly. “Yes. I’m thankful for that the most.”

  Another silence settled between them. August could feel what was coming next.

  “What about you?” Bear asked, confirming it.

  August let out a heavy breath. He could feel the floodgates opening and he didn’t care to stop it anymore. “I’ll tell you one thing: I didn’t know what I’d be feeling today, but more than anything, right now I feel like there’s no time for bullshit.” He faced Bear. “I’m goddamned scared, Bear. Jesus Christ, I don’t think I’ve ever said that before, but it’s true. I’m scared to death. I think what Aeris told me was right. I think I made a mistake.”

  Bear put his arm around August’s shoulder. August barely registered it. The words had come out of his mouth without thinking, but they were all true.

  He went on. “If this is the end then there’s only one thing to say. I’m going to miss you, man. I never knew I’d end up being best friends with a seven-foot behemoth named after a woodland creature, but I’m damn glad I did.”

  “I didn’t get that name because I look like a bear, remember?”

  August laughed. “You almost sounded like Ray there.”

  “Finally, a compliment from you.”

  “I should’ve given more. You and Ray—you’re two of the best men I’ve ever known.” August reached up and hugged him. He had the sensation of tears again. “Take care of yourself out there today. Come back in one piece.”

  Bear stayed silent. When he stepped back, his eyes were red and puffy. He cleared his throat. “Promise me you’ll do what you do best.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Survive.”

  I don’t know if I can, he wanted to say. He might’ve been seeing things, but he thought he saw the same look of resignation on Bear’s face.

  The wind pushed a wedge between them.

  Bear walked behind him back to the portal. August could barely look at the face of the synapse. The other side seemed made of shadows.

  Meryn looked at him with tears in her eyes. He held out his hand and she took it. The electricity in her touch hadn’t faded. He let go without saying a word. It was an odd thing to feel the feelings going through him about her. He would miss her, and yet he couldn’t forgive her for the destruction she’d helped bring about. She looked like she was having her own duel of emotions. He wondered if part of her wanted to apologize.

  He turned away without waiting to find out. The synapse hovered above the grass, silent. It took all he had to walk toward it. He stopped just before breaking through the membrane. “It looks cold,” he said. His hand shook as he brought it up to trigger his mask.

  “Fight like I know you can,” Bear said.

  August looked back at both of them. Meryn’s head rested on Bear’s shoulder.

  “Goodbye.”

  Without giving himself time to think, he walked through to the other side. He mentally closed his eyes until the wave of nausea passed. He waited, expecting to hear the roar of the crowd as he stepped into the decadrome to meet Talus.

  Instead, he heard the thrum of distant war machines.

  He opened his eyes and saw a sea of dead landscape—cold hills, black seas, and faraway cities long since felled.

  He stared out at The Void.

  “No!” he yelled, and swiveled on his heel. “Bear, you can’t!”

  The synapse disappeared, the hazy image of Bear and Meryn melting into wisps of smoke. Beyond it stood the rest of the Alliance.

  His eyes caught Aeris’s. Did you do this? he pleaded without saying the words.

  The mix of tears and shock in her eyes gave him his answer. Meryn had kept one last secret from both of them.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  When the synapse to The Void faded, Meryn lowered her hand.

  “So it is done,” she said.

  Bear pictured August on The Void once he’d realized what had happened, stunned and angry about the switch. I hope you can forgive me.

  He let the cold morning air fill his lungs. His heart thudded against his ribs as he prepared himself for what was next. “I suppose it’s time then.”

  “John, please do not do this.”

  “I have to. August is no match for Talus, and I’m no match for the Ministers. I’m not the fighter August is. Not in a fight like that, anyway. We’ll both die, which means you will too.”

  “If this is about revenge…”

  “It’s not like that. Not all of it
, anyway. Talus needs to pay for what he’s done—to Daddy, to the Horsemen. To Shadow. But if August can’t do it, then we need to send someone who can.”

  She shook her head. Her voice was barely above a whisper. She couldn’t look at him. “It does not have to be this way. There is another option, something I held as a possibility since this all began.”

  “Meryn…”

  “Listen to me!” she snapped. Her eyes held fast to her tears. “Before I took sides against Amara, I made the decision that if it ever looked as though we might lose the war, I would give my life to one of you to make you stronger, to give you the power you would need to defeat Amara’s champions if things looked bleak. I can do that for August.”

  “No,” Bear said. “I won’t let you do that.”

  “My life is not yours to control.”

  “But it’s mine to lose,” he said, “and I can’t stand to lose another person I love. I couldn’t save my mother when she died. I wasn’t there to save my father. If I can save you and August, I have to.”

  She shook her head again. “Galan won’t accept altering the deal like this. Talus has been after August since the beginning.”

  “Then you sweeten the offer.”

  Her body stilled. “John, what are you saying?”

  “Tell him that if Talus wins, he gets his due reward. But if I can beat Talus—and I will—Galan can have whatever energy you gave me to be a champion. Either way, he gets what he wants. He won’t refuse.”

  “But you’ll be mortal,” she said, her words shaken. “If something happens on Pyr afterwards, I won’t be able to help you. I can’t.”

  “If Talus wins, there’s a good chance he goes back to fight against the others. Who can beat him?”

  “Cerenus can. Ion.”

  “Cerenus will need to face Tamaril. Ion is the only one who can survive against The Tria. Aeris will need to take on Polaris. If you add Talus to the mix, things will go bad.” He tried to fight back his own tears. “There’s only one way this has a chance to succeed. You know it’s true.”

  He watched her eyes in silence as he saw her working it out in her head, and there was a moment when she closed her eyes for a pause when he knew she understood.

  “All right,” she said softly. She feigned a smile, trying to make it comforting. In the brief moment it was there, he couldn’t think of anything more saddening in the world.

  She closed her eyes as though she was getting ready to form the synapse to Pyr.

  “Wait,” he said.

  “What is it?”

  “I need you to do something. When it comes down to it…” He had trouble forming the words, not accounting for the look on her face when he’d formed the plan in his mind the night before. “If it comes to the end and it looks like Talus might beat me, I need you to do something—something you asked me about a long time ago.”

  She peered into his eyes, searching for his meaning. Her mental fingers reached for his thoughts and then stopped.

  “It’s okay,” he said. “Go ahead.”

  She extended them again. He felt the charge of her presence in his head. Her eyes shut.

  “John, are you sure?”

  “I want you to,” he answered.

  She reached up and kissed him. He held her tightly in his arms.

  The embrace would’ve been too short if it had lasted forever. Meryn ended it with another kiss. She backed away, creating the portal quickly with an outstretched hand.

  He stared at the doorway. “You remember, now. If the end comes—if I fall…”

  “I’ll remember,” she said.

  He nodded. His hands were sweating beneath his armor.

  Meryn wrapped her fingers around his. As she did, the face of the portal transformed from a uniform gray to the blurred image of an empty hallway.

  “I’m ready,” he said.

  “I wish I could say the same.”

  He looked down at her but she wouldn’t return his stare. “Meryn…”

  “I know,” she answered, still looking ahead. “I love you too. Please, just go. I will be there with you.”

  She let go of his hand and dissolved into twinkling sprites, shooting through the synapse membrane without giving him time to answer. And just like that he was alone. The image on the other side looked solemn and unwelcoming. He’d prepared himself for that. He took another breath of the clean air, savoring it with his eyes closed.

  The shimmering face of the portal dimpled as he pushed through to the other side. The air on Pyr filled his nose with the smell of dust. The synapse whispered to a close behind him. At the end of the hall, a single Pyrian sat on a round stool facing a pair of solid black doors. His skin looked like the inside of an oyster shell, with wisps of blue and red ribbons melting into gray. Islands of rough, stippled patches covered his bare back. He held his skinny arms on the handle of a wheel attached to the door mechanism. He didn’t look at Bear once. His eyes stayed locked on the heavy gate.

  Outside the doors, the crowd was raucous. Drums beat haphazardly, combining to form a constant thrum that shook the ground beneath Bear’s feet. Through it all, a deep and commanding voice announced in the Pyrian tongue, “Four hundred years your champion. Four hundred years of victory, never tarnished. I give you the Child of Pyra—Talus!”

  At once, the crowd swelled into a rabid frenzy. The rush of noise made Bear dizzy. They chanted Talus’s name, combining their screeching voices with the constant beat of the drums. It was a noise he couldn’t escape no matter how much it needled his nerves, making it impossible for him to reach anything close to calm.

  The Pyrian doorkeeper twisted his head back, showing Bear one of his insect-like eyes. Are you ready? he seemed to ask.

  “Do it,” Bear said.

  The creature’s wiry arms began to churn the wheel. Hinges shrieked, adding their voice to the terrible crowd. Slowly, the gates parted and the power of the crowd’s voice came through with full force.

  Give me strength, he prayed. And help me do what must be done.

  He triggered his helmet. Each step toward the door took concentration and effort in the face of the thrumming arena. A line of Pyrian guards stood blocking the open entrance, each holding a green-tipped spear in front of them. They faced the open crowd.

  Meryn would be making her pitch to Galan. He silently wished her luck, but he knew the god wouldn’t turn down the offer of guaranteed victory. He would be going back to Amara with exactly what she asked for—the energy of Meryn’s champion.

  He waited for the sign that it was done.

  The stadium announcer nearly shouted to be heard over the din. “And his challenger, representing the Order of Meryn…”

  Like a tide rushing out, the Pyrians abruptly switched to screams and jeers, drowning out the rest of the announcement. Drum beats stoked the flames of their anger in a growing swell. Bear stiffened as the guards parted. He walked forward onto the sandy dirt floor of the arena. Across from him, Talus raised his arms to the crowd, prodding them to be louder. Finally, he looked across the arena and saw Bear for the first time.

  “Lawson!”

  The monster stared silently, seemingly in disbelief. He looked from Bear to a balcony at the top of the stadium stretching out over the crowd. Galan stood at its precipice with Meryn at his side.

  Talus gritted his teeth and roared in anger.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  With the shadows of the Void’s mountains towering around them, Aeris and the rest of the Alliance approached August slowly, as if they thought he might fall apart at the slightest sound. He was still too stunned to move.

  “We didn’t know,” Cerenus said. His eyes glowed gold in the darkness. “It would seem Meryn—”

  “Of course it was Meryn,” August snapped. He couldn’t help the growl in his voice.

  He stood before them like a man who’d survived a lethal injection—still a prisoner, but a prisoner who’d outstayed his sentence. He imagined Bear alone on Pyr, facing the mo
nster that he should have faced, and maybe dying the death he should have died.

  “There are probably…reasons, I’m sure, that…might make sense. Eventually,” Cerenus said in a defeated voice.

  “Or this is the path Bear chose,” Ion added.

  He wouldn’t, August thought, but that wasn’t true. It was exactly something Bear would do.

  As the group fell into a weighted silence, August included, Aeris stepped into the center of their circle. “Cerenus, can you create a synapse to Pyr?”

  Cerenus shook his head. “Nowhere close. It’s too far.”

  She addressed the group, but she looked directly at August as she spoke. “Then what’s done is done.” She let her words settle. “Whether it was by Meryn’s design or Bear’s—the choice is made. All we can do now is make our own choice of how we finish this fight.”

  The moment still felt too disconnected for him to answer. He looked down at the ground and watched the loose sandy dirt of the Void coat his feet. She’s right. There’s nothing I can do about Bear now. Saying it to himself didn’t do anything to wash away the anger. He didn’t want it to. There were two outlets for it. One was at the end of the canyon, where a yellow haze and a droning sound of war machines heralded Galan’s arrival. The other would come later, when it was over, and Meryn arrived to tell him Bear’s fate. He’d save enough of his rage for her. The rest was ready to explode.

  “Maybe you better fill me in on your plan,” he said.

  Aeris took stock of the others before answering. “The Orphii are here, over the ridge at the canyon’s end. When the fight starts, they will be ready.”

  “Will it be enough?”

  “No,” Cerenus answered. “Our enemy’s numbers are superior, to put it kindly.”

  “Which is why we await Soraste’s return,” Aeris replied.

  August shook his head. “We can’t count on her.”

  “We have to. We do not stand a chance otherwise.”

  If this was the pep talk she gave earlier, he was glad he missed it. “What do you want me to do?”